Don’t Compete With Him if You Want to be Complete With Him!
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Being in a relationship not easy, everyone knows that. What puts a huge strain on a relationship is when your partner begins to feel like you are no longer supporting him, but are suddenly in competition with him. Reading the subtle signs that this is becoming a problem can help you nip this problem before it is too late.
Who is susceptible to this sort of problem? Ambitious people, who tend to be drawn to one another, can find this competition destroying their relationship if they are not careful. If you are asking yourself if this is a problem in your relationship, it may already have gotten to a point of no return. Rori Raye has a term she calls “boy energy,” which describes the type of energy that you use to accomplish great things. She tells us women to leave it out of our relationships with men, for this precise reason: it can destroy everything you have worked for.
The signs that there is a problem should be pretty obvious. He will begin to avoid competitive activities, and may become confrontational when you ask him to do little things like go jogging or play a game of pool. When he begins to shy away from fun things you once enjoyed together that involve competition, you can be sure that something is wrong.
There are a lot of ways you can throw off the balance in your relationship. Whether making jokes at his expense, or giving him a hard time when he can’t keep up with you on a jog, these little jabs will make him feel as though you are not supportive of him, and that you lack respect for him.
You need to understand the role that you play in his life if you want to really get why these things are destructive to your relationship. He wants to feel like you love him, respect him, and accept him. When you stop giving him the love, respect, and acceptance he needs, it begins to chip away at his confidence in the relationship. That doubt is poisonous.
Once you become aware that there is a problem, you need to start focusing on the solution. Start by understanding why you feel a need to compete with him. You see, most of the time when women are insecure, we seek affirmation through praise. If you were really 100% secure, you would be offering support and praise to him instead of seeking it for yourself.
This one little piece of relationship advice can save you so much grief! Turn the situation around and ask yourself how you would feel if he left you in the dust every time you went for a jog, or if he pouted every time you beat him at a game. Turn the tables by being sensitive to competitive situations and diffusing them through compassion. Celebrate his victories both publicly and in private. By giving him the spotlight rather than stealing it away from him, you can make him feel like you are in a partnership rather than a contest.
