Be the Best You Can Be

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You have just found out that your spouse has had an affair. The pain, the sorrow, and maybe the anger consume you. It is all over you may think. This marriage, that you have worked years on, is at an end. The person you loved and trusted no longer feels the same for you. Why not stop, and think about it?

Though some might be inclined to run directly to a divorce attorney, there are reasons to stay married, even after an affair. Being human, it is very probable that even we have lusted after someone who is not our spouse at one time or another. We may have fantasized about a tryst, wondering what being intimate with someone else might be like. Unintentionally, you have perhaps flirted with of the people you’ve fantasized about. While it’s true that we are all human and make mistakes at times, it is from those very mistakes that we can learn the most.

One reason to remain together after an affair is that working through difficulties causes both individuals to grow, together and separately. The strengths that can be garnered from working past an affair together are innumerable. It’s not the good times that make a relationship strong, it has to do more with the ability to handle issues, pitfalls, and even seeming disasters together that serves to cement and reinforce the relationship and build up the marriage. Why not an affair as well?

Whether you are the one who strayed or your partner, if you have the strength to build your marriage up after this, it will be stronger than ever. If the partner who had an affair is truly regretful of what they did, the marriage can survive.

Caught up in the moment of the affair, you might be asking yourself why stopping the infidelity is a good idea. Ask yourself about any guilty feelings you might have had when the affair began, and look deeper, to see why you had this guilt. You probably had no intention of hurting your spouse, nor did you wish for your marriage to end. Was the guilt because you do in fact love your spouse? After all, you both have invested a lot of time and self in the building of this marriage. Yes, you do love your spouse after all.

Granted, marriage is not forever filled with newness and excitement. Over time, no one knows you better than your spouse. Right now you are enjoying the intrigue and the danger of having this affair. But what happens later? As occurred in your marriage, with time, the sensation of newness and mystery fades into something more familiar. And when the feelings in the affair fade, as they will surely do, the thrill of it all will be ended as well. It is then that your spouse will be someone you want in your corner, the person who love. Act now, not when it is too late.

Why stop your infidelity? You still love your spouse! They know more about you, both your good things and your bad and they are still with you. They love you. So stop bringing this ugly hurtful thing between you both.

When you married each other it was in love. That love has played a big part in holding the relationship together when the storms came. Now, you have another storm to face together. If you both have what it takes to work past the affair, you will come out the other side of it stronger and more deeply in love. Because of the reasons you married each other, these same reasons are the ones that will keep you married.