Be the Best You Can Be

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HSPs - Highly Sensitive People - do exist! Statistically about 20 per cent of the population are considered sensitive. Sensitivity is basically a neural trait, meaning the HSP has a sensitive nervous system. This means the HSP is aware of subtleties in his surroundings and stays on guard for potential “danger”. For example, dark clouds or slippery pavements. The highly sensitive person is more easily overwhelmed when he has been out for too long in a highly stimulating environment, where he has been bombarded by sights and sounds and comes home with an exhausted nervous system.

Being sensitive has both advantages and disadvantages; in some societies, being sensitive is highly esteemed. In Western culture however, being sensitive is not considered ideal, and parents and teachers will spend time trying to help you “overcome” it.

Highly sensitive people, because they are in a minority, often feel out of step with everyone else. They are easily hurt or offended when spoken to by a non-HSP with words or tone that an HSP would not use. HSPs cannot understand how others can be so direct, critical, or abrasive. HSPs typically do not challenge such an interaction but withdraw to dwell on the exchange that took place. They try to rationalize what they did wrong; why was the other person so nasty?

Meanwhile the non-HSP has no awareness that anything is “wrong”. Conflict, confrontation and raised voices do not impact on his nervous system and he has no awareness that the HSP’s nervous system is now aroused and “hurting”. Yet this is the reason why the HSP calls him “insensitive” or mean.

What seems ordinary to others, like loud music or crowds, can be highly stimulating to the HSP nervous system and thus stressful. A certain amount of these stimuli can initially feel good to the HSP, but when it is “too much” the stimuli become disturbing. The HSP often needs time to be alone, in order to give his nervous system time to calm down, in preparation for the onslaught of stimuli that it is going to receive again tomorrow.

In most instances a person walks into room at a party and notices simply the furniture and the people. That’s about it. HSPs however, are immediately aware, whether they like it or not, of the mood, friendships and hostilities between people, and whether the air is fresh or smoky. Being an HSP means you will notice the small things. For example, threads on the rug, how the curtain is tied back, and whether the picture frame has been dusted.

HSP’s do not necessarily judge these things, but they notice, and the nervous system becomes overwhelmed with all these things it has to “notice”. The HSP becomes easily overwhelmed in new environments as the nervous overarousal is usually experienced as anxiety leading eventually to the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Fear should not be confused with arousal. Typically, an HSP will feel arousal by subconscious thoughts or low level events but outwardly display no obvious emotion. Increasing levels of arousing chemicals felt in the body of an HSP will cause them to feel fearful, even though intellectually there is nothing to feel fearful about. This is often referred to by HSPs as an indication of their “craziness” - when their feelings are absolutely incongruous with their awareness or thoughts.